Change is hard. Internal voices are at odds. One wants to be wanted. To be seen. To feel the pull of desire again. Another shrinks. Invisible. Desires to fade into the background. Like I don’t matter anymore. Perimenopause drags me under. Hot flashes. Heavy brain fog. Achy nights. My body feels like someone else’s. My… Continue reading Brain Fog Day 1,412 (Thereabouts)
Author: mudkri
An old GenX'er doing her best.
Classy, sassy and a bit bad assy.
Likely very tired.
Love, Loss and Star Wars (Andor)
My first movie going experience was Empire Strikes Back. My dad took me, my sister, my cousins and shockingly, my mum (who cared nothing about movies; she was a librarian) to a little theatre in the city. We sat in the balcony. I cannot replay the experience in my head anymore. But what stays with… Continue reading Love, Loss and Star Wars (Andor)
These Jeans Don’t Fit
I saw them in the sale section. They looked fresh and new. Hip. I want to be hip. A hip old lady. In her wide leg jeans. The shipping is free. The colour seems agreeable. I calculated if I could actually afford them and took the chance. Add to cart. These jeans don’t fit. Out… Continue reading These Jeans Don’t Fit
Me, My Dad and Football
CW: talk of death and cancer On July 11th, 2018 I arrived at the pub a little past noon. The place was packed. There was a mix of both teams jerseys. My best friend could only manage us a seat at the bar. I’d had the match on my computer at work before I made… Continue reading Me, My Dad and Football
Lucky
This is an attempt at dual pov. CW for NSFW and use of Daddy. I’m really late. This was all planned out. She’s going to be absolutely fucking furious with me. Which is one of the greatest turns on in my life. When she gets worked up about work. Worked up about her shows. Worked… Continue reading Lucky
Mirror, Mirror
/NSFW. As always I write on the fly, on the bus and rarely edit. Imagine if I did! If you do read, thank you. ** I’ve been placed here against the wall. Just between the full length mirror and the standard hotel desk. There’s enough room for me to stand and look like part of… Continue reading Mirror, Mirror
Blush
This Praise Kink was prompted by @mollysdailykiss #KinkoftheWeek. Please check out her blog at the handle for other amazing stories. I said you were my good girl. You blushed a shade of pink. I said you were so perfect in every way. You blushed a shade of bubblegum. I whispered you have a delicious brain.… Continue reading Blush
Soapsuds
The venue is just like I thought it would be. The pub is quaint enough, retro and vintage feeling without it being too twee. Sadly, the back room the party is in is too bright for me. There are far too many lights for a room where even I can almost touch the ceiling. It’s… Continue reading Soapsuds
The Shop
I come in here every weekend. Sometimes twice. I make up an excuse to go the second time. The first time I do have to run errands as part of my routine. The second, so I can see him. It’s so pathetic having a crush on someone. Never mind someone far younger than I. Never mind… Continue reading The Shop
Grief Town
I have spent a lot of the last decade in a funhouse of grief. I hate funhouses. Mostly they bore me at the fair but you keep going in and out with your small child who finds the mirrored room a blast and the incessant clown music charming. I find none of that stimulating. I… Continue reading Grief Town
Gingerly 